Cardiff Cavaliers Cricket Club

Match Report

Sully Centurions, Sunday 18 July

Sully Cent’s 313/2 (40ovs, Sparkes 1/25, Ward 1/31). Cav 130ao (35.5ovs, Marchant 31, J Thomas 24, Poulsom 23no). Lost by 187 runs

Scorecard

We need to begin first with an apology. The designated match reporter had been forced to withdraw with a bug. Thanks to Ward for making up the XI at short notice: he appeared fully attired in Cavaliers kit leading to the suggestion as to whether he slept in it, dreaming of great feats on the oval and awaiting the clarion call. The absence of a match reporter led the ever imaginative Sparkes to suggest that we all took 4 overs each to write about and the webmaster could weave it into a whole – perhaps he was betraying his Sunday School days when the kiddies would do a montage. Thankfully one of the assembled company decided to take responsibility for the report and this is what you now get.

There were three surprises today: one at the start, one around the middle and one post-match. The first was that we played at all – the micro-climate that surrounds Sully served us well and the predictions of the opposition when contacted by Adams earlier in the day that the pitch would dry fine turned out to be entirely correct. With neither captain having a coin when they went out to toss, Marchant opined he’d bowl if he had won and their skipper of the view that they’d have opted to bat, it was agreed that this would come to pass.

It was at this point that Marchant looked at his troops and realised that, with McVeigh donning the keeping gloves and pads (later on he decided it may also be prudent to add a box to his defensive line), he had no-one to open the bowling. Earnest discussions with Sparkes who seemed eager to proffer his opinions after so long out of the game – Poulsom later ventured the view that while his advice may have been missed during his on-field absence, his veritable style of humour and one-liners had most definitely not been – led to the entrusting of Steadman with the opening duties.

The responsibility did not daunt him and, after a few deliveries that made sure McVeigh was awake behind the timbers and Poulsom alert at first slip, he troubled both openers and had a double chance missed when the batsman advanced down the pitch, nicked it but the keeper couldn’t hold it and it spilled away from the wicket so that the batsman could retake his ground before the stumps could be put down.

Adams was con-joined in the task of opening and bowled an excellent spell, going right through his allocation. Figures of 0/42 off 8 do not do justice to the guile shown and evidenced by the fact that neither batsman could get after him - they scored nearly twice as many runs from the other end - indicates his effectiveness. He was well supported in the field with Payne regularly in action, earning himself the sobriquet “Magnet”.

We went luckless for a long spell leading up to drinks with any false strokes lobbing the ball into gaps rather than to fielders and any play-and-misses were exactly that. At the half-way stage, McVeigh and Steadman exchanged places and they were soon able to replay the chance from earlier in the day with a nick being put down, accidentally it must be said. So we continued wicket-less and each batsman was advancing towards their hundred. Sadly, we also encountered another injury, with Thomas leaping salmon-like to take a catch only to crumple as the muscles went on the other side of his troublesome groin. Gamely he stayed on and was stationed thoughtfully where little movement would be required.

Poulsom replaced Davis and showed that he has lost none of his skill returning the most economic figures by far (0/11 off 3) but with 30 overs gone and perhaps a new Cavaliers record – an enviable one – of bowling 40 overs without taking a wicket looming, the unorthodox, downright daft and incredibly ingenious plan was hatched by Marchant: “Jez, next over this end” he called. “Haven’t bowled for over 400 days” came the reply. “Exactly” said Marchant, “when they see you bowling they won’t want to get out to it so should slow the run rate at least!”

One batsman was immediately concerned at this prospect, sped to his ton and promptly retired before he could see what manner of delivery might be propelled by Sparkes – such wisdom in one so young is rare to see these days.

The other opener used the loosening over of Sparkes to reach his ton and also retired before he might embarrass himself. Neither outgoing century-maker had the wit or the kindness to pass on the details of Marchant’s cunning plan to their replacements and as surely as night follows day, and kindness begats a smile, so the tempting offering of a juicy half volley from Sparkes to the No3 was duly dispatched to the boundary. The next delivery looked a similarly enticing invitation to party but it somehow went between bat and pad and was straight enough to hit the stumps.

So here was the day’s second surprise – apparently you could’ve made a bookie homeless if you’d had an each way bet on Sparkes being the first wicket-taker in the game – even 500-1 outsiders in the Derby would have been surer bets than backing Sparkes to save our blushes. With the score on 240 and into the 33^rd over never can there have been a more welcome sight then that of the stumps splayed. We can only imagine what comments awaited the batsman on his return to the hutch.

Talking of which, Pritchard had been introduced to the attack and he kept the batsmen honest with some deliveries that tested them, mixed with others that tempted, some that teased and a few that leaked runs. Marchant kept true to the Cavaliers spirit and so Ward and Payne were called upon to close out the innings. Payne followed up his excellent fielding display with two respectable overs, while Ward also got his name in the scorebook with a well judged catch by Payne (who else) on the cover boundary – the result of some excellent support work to the captain from Sparkes who reckons you need your best fielders in the key places so had swopped positions with Payne a few balls earlier.

A second wicket made the final score of 313 look a little less worse than it may have been. Tea-time led some to speculate on the new spin duo of Ward and Sparkes but their names don’t really lend themselves to a calypso rendition to rival that of Ramadin and Valentine so they’re unlikely to find themselves in the reggae top ten any time soon.

With Thomas injured and probably only able to bat with a runner, Marchant decided that we should have a go at the total and see how we went so the top 5 was the strongest we could put out. Sully Centurions have a great electronic scoreboard but who to operate it as they were all in the field?

Ah, it was elicited that Ward is something clever with computer animations and graphics so he was given responsibility for it – just as Bob Monkhouse used to say “Bernie, the bolt” so the refrain became “Bill, the board”. This worked very well until Ward was required to pad up and his replacement on the board and new hands on the scorebooks – a triumvirate of Adams, Pritchard and McVeigh – led to some curious happenings electronic-wise and some astonished comments from the Sully fielders as the batsmen’s indicator number jumped around and extras were added to their individual scores.

McVeigh started our reply with a boundary – “Up with the Duckworth/Lewis already”, commented one colleague on the boundary edge. When he essayed the shot two balls later he managed only elevation rather than distance and though the fielder tried his hardest to make a lobbed dolly look hard and at one stage it seemed as though he might drop it altogether, McVeigh had to return to the pavilion with the excellent strike rate of 133%.

Marchant entered the stage and mixed sound defence with the ability to spot the occasional bad ball early and pick his gap. Steadman, perhaps troubled by Adams informing him that he only needed 70 runs to break the Cavaliers’ run record for the season, was subdued and perhaps a little out of touch, making 8 in 27 balls, and we were 14/2 off 8 overs.

We then had a our best spell with the bat, with Adams joining Marchant, and they added 34 in just 7 overs, before Adams was well caught behind off the bowling of the young spinner, Callow, who belied his name with a strong nerve to give the ball flight and good variety keep the batsman in uncertain mind.

Payne replaced Adams and was then himself replaced by Sparkes as the young spinner got incredible lift, bounce and a little turn, while Payne could only feel the ball brush the shoulder of the bat on its way through to the keeper. He did enquire later, when the disappointment had eased a little, whether the Cavaliers’ records stretched to the most number of golden ducks in a season, though we were quick to discourage him from seeking to add his name in such a way.

Sparkes survived the hat-trick ball (disappointingly, for the bowler at any rate, fired down leg) and proceeded with his captain to add a little stability to the innings (he’d had a lot of tea). He even amazed his comrades with another authentic-looking off-side shot to the boundary – Davis pondered aloud whether Jez would’ve been better served breaking his arm several years ago if it now meant he didn’t try to play everything to leg.

The introduction of Goodway to the bowling attack then changed the complexion of the game and laid waste to any plans we had of an assault on their total. He bowled Sparkes with a low full toss on leg stump that was totally misread. Ward struck a few lusty blows before also being bowled by the same bowler and Davis went the same way, but without troubling the scorers.

In between times, Marchant had perished to Goodway, this one a caught as a mistimed pull only saw a top edge lob up gently backward of square where the keeper made good ground to take it. He had top scored with 31 off 54 balls with 4 well struck boundaries. We were 8 down for 87 after 26 overs and an early pint beckoned … or did it?

Pritchard joined Poulsom who, like the skipper before him, was mixing stout defence with the ability to thread the ball through the ring of close-in fielders. Poulsom instructed Pritchard “I’ll do the calling. It’ll be ‘yes’, ‘no’ or ‘wait’. Okay?”. Pritchard said “yer, right-e-o” then proceeded to play his first ball in to a gap and called “Yer, run!” perhaps leading horses to water may prove a more fruitful exercise for Poulsom as a future career.

It must be recorded though that the two shared a healthy stand of 18 over 6 overs with some judicious, some might even say, brave leaves by Pritchard as the ball narrowly shaved the stumps or cleared the bails with only a modicum of air between the leather and the wood. He was undone by one that didn’t climb quite as much as others, just clipping off bail as he made what looked like another well-judged leave, giving Goodway his “five-for”. Pritchard had faced 18 balls in his stay at the crease which must be getting on for a career best and shows the value of the Cavaliers’ Academy which he attended for two winters.

Thomas entered as last man, deciding to try without a runner (Steadman had gamely re-equipped in case his services were required). It soon became apparent that Thomas had little intention of running if he could avoid it, hitting a four and two sixes in his 14 ball stay that amassed 24, and took us to the slightly respectable score of 130 before he was bowled aiming a further mighty blow. Poulsom finished unbeaten on 23, which included 5 fours.

Despite the margin of defeat it had been good to get a game when it had seemed might otherwise be the case and there was a warm welcome from the Centurions – in particular, the lack of incessant appealing for anything and everything was appreciated, as was their impeccable manners at tea when they politely waited until their guests had had first pick of the teatime offerings.

Ah, readers may wonder about our third surprise mentioned at the outset. Perhaps Sparkes’ long absence from the game had inured him to some of the capabilities of the Cavaliers and he entrusted the match fees envelope, duly filled out with the team’s names, to Pritchard with an instruction which he thought was clear enough “get 4 quid off everyone and tick them off as you go along”.

When the envelope was returned, several names were unticked although further enquiry among some of them elicited the response that they had paid so the money in the envelope was counted. Not only was there sufficient to pay the £44 tea money to our kind hosts but there was cash left over. Now one doesn’t want to make cheap shots at the Coalition when, after all, we are all in the together (depending of course on your definition of “together”) but why on earth is George Osborne Chancellor when Rabbit can turn £44 of fees collected and £44 of costs paid into a surplus? Imagine the impact if Rabbit collected the taxes, customs duties and revenues – the deficit would be paid off in no time at all, and without handing a single penny to a private company to swell their profits. True, we may need to have Trinny & Susannah help him with his wardrobe, a session with a voice coach and a trip to a Swiss finishing school but there should be no reason why we couldn’t pass him off as a pukka old Etonian surely …

Champagne moment: Go for one in each innings. Bowling/fielding: the relief we all felt when Sparkes got our first wicket – after 32.2 overs of honest toil without reward, to see the back of a batsman who wasn’t retiring with a ton to his name having been beaten by one that didn’t turn or bounce or seam gladdened all our hearts. Batting: the hobbling JT, evoking memories of Gordon Greenidge similarly injured in a test match against England, pulling the ball imperiously for six, this time into the bowling green.

Team: Jimmy Marchant (capt), Michael McVeigh (wkt), Jonathan Thomas, Gareth Payne, Andrew Steadman, Nigel Adams, Jeremy Sparkes, Bill Ward, Glyn Poulsom, Steve Davis, Wyn Pritchard